who is jackie gonzales?

well we wish we could answer that, but we can't. a group of us ban.do gals met some friends over at the roger room last week, and the bartender was kind enough to let us sit at some reserved tables assuring us that the party that had them reserved would not be there for several hours. well about 30 minutes later a different bartender came by to tell us that these tables were reserved for jacki g.'s birthday party, and we would have to move. we said that we'd be happy to, but he changed his mind and said, "let's just see what happens, she should be here at 9:00 with 30 people in tow." well, that's where the fun started. we decided to call the bar and say we were jackie g. and we were angry that people were at our table. well, we did, but no one answered, so we left a message. and then another (this time in a russian accent - - thanks, madeline). and then a couple more. a few minutes later the bartender came by and said jackie called and she was pissed but it was hard to hear her message. so we held in our laughter until he left and then did the only reasonable thing . . . call again. well, jackie never showed and the bartenders did not find the humor in a bunch of ladies making crank calls to their establishment. oh well. at least the drinks were good.

photos my noah abrams for l.a. confidential